


Sunday Lunch

by AssassinOfRome



Category: Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, Hot Fuzz (2007)
Genre: Danny is in love, Discussion of Homophobia, Domestic Fluff, Doris is wise, Everyone Is Gay, Families of Choice, Hawaiian Pizza - Freeform, M/M, Meeting the Parents, Nicholas is A + C's son, Nicholas is Stressed, Nicholas is in love, Queer Families, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-14
Packaged: 2018-07-12 04:27:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7085647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AssassinOfRome/pseuds/AssassinOfRome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nicholas has met Danny's parents (inasmuch as visiting a prison and a gravesite counts as getting to know someone) so now it's Danny's turn. Aziraphale and Crowley, however, aren't exactly the most traditional fathers...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Pizza’s here!” Danny called, slipping through the cottage door, trying his best not to upend the cardboard boxes tottering in his arms. Usually, he would consider himself rather stable; clumsy yet quick enough to catch anything he knocked. However, the puppy weaving in between his ankles while he was trying to shed shoes was far from a help. He couldn’t blame Bones though. The Labrador retriever wasn’t yet a year old, and was only playing, batting at Danny’s shoelaces which had become favourite toy of late. It wasn’t easy having two over-energetic blondes in one cottage, but Danny had to admit; he’d never had more fun. 

Nicholas, on the other hand, was looking increasingly more harrowed. Danny had left him at the kitchen table, surrounded by piles of paperwork; log-books, equipment forms, case notes, all of which had to be filled and copied with precision. The only difference to the tableau of tiredness was that Nicholas had caved and donned his reading glasses. As Danny entered, the inspector sighed, and gave an exhausted half smile. 

“I love you.” He mumbled, rubbing his no-doubt aching hands, and cracking his wrists in the process. Nicholas’ back popped as he stretched upwards, revealing a small strip of tummy as his shirt rode up. It was almost disgustingly domestic, and Danny felt his heart sing. 

“I know. I mean, who else would tolerate your love of pineapple on pizza?” He dropped a kiss to his boyfriend’s head as he passed, shunted the boxes onto the worktop and started to plate up. Bones gambolled in afterwards, enamoured by the smell, but quickly quietened. Padding across the floor, he curled up beside Nicholas, placing his head on the inspector’s feet.

“I’m being serious, Dan.” Nicholas continued, clearing the table of papers. Bones’ eyes followed as each folder, meticulously labelled and colour-coded, was filled with the relevant forms, and packed away into a black plastic box, which Danny had labelled “Cube of Doom”. Once tidy, Nicholas reached down to scratch Bones behind the ear. The puppy’s tail began to thump against the floor in enjoyment, providing a beat to their conversation. “I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Danny turned around so he was facing Nicholas, and frowned. They’d been dating for eight months, and though Nicholas had made his fondness abundantly clear, he didn’t usually articulate them. It was more through gestures, and lapses in his strict rules; his concessions and actions showing affection that words couldn’t reveal. Theirs was a quiet love, hands held and kisses shared. Nothing showy, but always true. 

No words were spoken until after Danny had finished his second slice. Admittedly Hawaiian pizza wasn’t his favourite, but it was cheaper and less complex than ordering half a meat feast, and half a veggie lovers for him and Nick to share. Even the presence of fruit didn’t deter him anymore; it was pleasant in its own odd way. Nicholas wasn’t eating. He’d picked the toppings off his pizza and was organising them according to type and size; he would have categorised them into colours if Danny hadn’t interrupted him, nudging his hand. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” He offered, drawing Nicholas out of his thoughts. Still, the frown didn’t fade from Nicholas’ face when he looked up, and instead deepened. Even Bones noticed something was up, nudging against his master's calf with his nose. Alternatively, the dog could have been trying to get closer to the scraps of ham Danny was sneaking him under the table. Usually, Nicholas would have told them both off, but he was not paying attention. 

“Sorry, were you saying something?” His voice was distant, as if he hadn’t truly returned from whatever worried him. Danny handed him a box of tissues so Nicholas could wipe his hands, before asking again. The inspector rid himself of his spectacles, neatly folding the arms and nestling them back in the case. 

“Penny for your thoughts. It was something my mum used to say if I’d gone quiet.” He explained, then paused, and locked his fingers with Nicholas’ now-clean ones. “Is something wrong, babe? You don’t seem like yourself.”

“It’s nothing to worry about. Really.” Nicholas confessed, though he couldn’t quite meet Danny’s eye. The constable gave his partner’s hand a comforting and prompting squeeze. “It’s just… I got a phone call just before you got back. From my father.” 

In any other situation, Danny would have rolled his eyes disdainfully. He wished they could all do away with phones; they stressed Nicholas out so much, calls coming from all sorts of places that lead only to frowns and fears. Still, he knew that was irresponsible, and this seemed like an issue that was more severe than Danny’s mobile moans. 

“My parents are visiting some family friends nearby, and were wondering if they could come for Sunday Lunch. They said it was about time they met you; considering you’ve become such a large part of my life.” 

“What’s wrong with that?” Danny wasn’t scared of meeting the parents of his lovers. It hadn’t been a problem before, but that might have had something to do with the fact that he’d known them since primary school, considering most of his old flames had been met through school, and all lived in Sandford or thereabouts. Nicholas, in comparison, was some exotic treasure from a far-off land. “They do know we’re dating, right?” 

“Of course; they knew I was in love with you before I did.” Nicholas’ expression tightened, and he began to chew on his lower lip, teeth ripping at the plump flesh. Danny knew he’d have to kiss Nicholas’ sore lips better later, but he didn’t dare interrupt, for fear that Nicholas would bite off his own tongue. "Though, in all fairness, that is pretty typical." 

“So you’re close then?” Danny couldn’t help but feel a little deceived; Nicholas hadn’t spoken about his parents before, aside from a small mention of their visit whilst he’d been comatose after the accident. They’d stayed for long enough to bring Nicholas some comfort before returning to London, unseen by any officer aside from the inspector. He'd also spent a few days with them after the Sandford Trials had finished; the legal process had pushed Nicholas to the brink, and he was exhausted once the ordeal had finished. Whilst recovering, he'd stayed for a weekend in the capital, catching up with both family and friends, though both were limited. To know these family figures were real was in itself a relief; he hadn’t been entirely convinced they existed before now. “I don’t get what the problem is. I’d love to meet your mum and dad.” 

Danny could just picture them. Nicholas looked like his mother, a small woman but feisty; he got his passion from her, and his green thumb, he’d wager. His father was more reserved, gentle and scholarly, with the same crinkles around the eyes from laughter. Whereas Danny started to smile at the image, Nicholas already looked more nervous, tapping his fingers against his knee. 

“That’s the problem, Dan. I… I don’t have a mother.” 

“You what?” It was Danny’s turn to frown, cocking his head to one side. Usually, Nicholas was good at playing jokes; his dry tone meant that humourous remarks took slightly longer to sink in. There wasn't a hint of laughter in his voice at all. “You said your parents wanted to visit.”

“And they do. My fathers.” Nicholas rambled on before Danny could register his surprise. “I was adopted, you see, as a baby. Papa and Father took me in, and raised me as their own. They’re good people, Danny, and the best family I could ever-“ 

“They’ve got to be.” Danny agreed, swinging their clasped hands slightly, trying to coax out a smile. As he spoke, Nicholas’ gaze had dropped down. “They raised you, didn’t they?” 

“You’re not upset?” Nicholas whispered tentatively, not looking up from the floor. Danny allowed their hands to separate, Nicholas’ quickly clenching into fists at the fear of rejection. The constable’s reaction was gentler, cupping Nicholas’ cheeks and tilting the inspector’s chin upwards. 

"Why would I be?” He ran a thumb across Nicholas’ cheek, the inspector pressing into the touch. “This is important to you, and to us. I want to meet the people who raised you, made you who you are. I want to meet your dads, Nick." 

“And you reckon Sandford can take it? More than one gay couple at once? Aren’t we pushing the limits already?” Nicholas’ laugh was bitter and clipped. Danny ran a thumb over his boyfriend’s lips in response, quietening him. 

“If you reckon we’re the only benders in Sandford, you haven’t been looking properly.” He hinted, seeing the wheels in Nicholas’ brain start to spin again. “And we’re getting more tolerant. Slowly, granted. But we’re trying, Nicky. You haven’t got anything to worry about in that respect.” 

He sensed that the quiet nature of Nicholas’ and Danny’s relationship was part of the reason they had been so accepted by Sandford. Despite still being famous for their acts of bravery, their love life was private, and they didn’t over-advertise their homosexual status. Not that either of them saw anything wrong with that; Danny was convinced that he could pull off sequins and a feather boa, and they’d discussed attending London Pride marches in the past. Still, it was unlikely that their small village town would ever accept that much glitter, glam and dildo-covered flags. But they were undoubtedly improving. 

“So I can invite them?” Nicholas didn’t even attempt to disguise the excitement in his voice. Clearly his parents were important to him, and Danny had the sneaking suspicion that Nicholas hadn’t had the chance to introduce them to many of his other partners. Janine certainly hadn’t mentioned them (not that Danny spoke to her often, but Nick’s parents hadn’t been discussed on the two times they had met). The constable had to admit, he was pretty eager too; the pictures of Nicholas’ parents still hovered in his mind, though the genders had switched somewhat. Still, he was curious to see who had shaped Nicholas' life so crucially; were they strict or relaxed, gentle or harsh, just or dubious? 

“With pleasure.” Danny grinned as Nicholas seized his phone, delicate fingers typing away. His smile widened as the text was sent, and Danny shifted, so that his hand was looped gently around Nicholas’ wrist. The inspector leaned forward so their foreheads rested together, and Danny pressed a kiss against Nicholas’ cheek. 

A second later they parted, still smiling, and Danny once again took up a slice of pizza. Nicholas nibbled at his dissected crust, and, at Danny’s prompting, began to tell his lover all about his fathers.


	2. Chapter 2

“What time are you picking up your dads?” Danny asked, foraging around for Bones’ lead. The dog needed walking, and was pawing at the front door, eager to be out in the summer sunshine. Nicholas paused, duster nudging against the already spotless mantelpiece. 

“Well, their train arrives in Buford Abbey at three, so I should leave in-“ He glanced at his watch, eyes widening in shock. “Christ, it’s already gone two!” 

As unusual as it was for the inspector, Danny wasn’t surprised his boyfriend was running late. Since confirming his fathers’ visit, he’d been running around madly, trying to tidy every last inch of the already clean house. Admittedly, it wasn’t up to Nicholas’ neatfreak standards, with remnants of Danny’s presence forming piles of DVDs next to the television, or magazines on the coffee table, but the house in general was orderly. Apart from the kitchen which was an accepted bombsite at this point, considering the amount of utensils, dog toys, and paperwork that ended up scattered around the fairly large room. Even that had been decluttered, now filled with meal preparation. Delicious scents wafted through the cottage, driving Bones and Danny equally crazy. 

Still, Nicholas’ organisation had turned swiftly into an obsession. Danny hadn’t seen his boyfriend do anything but tidy for the last three days, always carrying some bizarre equipment and looking worn and faintly sweaty. He stunk of cleaning products, of vanilla and lemon and lavender. He’d even single-handedly organised the garage which made Danny worry, as most of the stuff was too heavy for even the strong inspector to lift alone. Secretly, he worried for Nicholas’ back, which despite being healed, should not have been tested. It was also pointless; Nicholas’ parents were coming to dinner, not to inspect their living quarters. Still, he knew tidying helped Nicholas work through his nerves, and he knew better than to interrupt. He’d already been banned from the house once, whilst Nicholas cleaned the fireplaces. Danny didn’t even realise they had fireplaces. Still, it had been a good night at the pub, and Danny couldn’t help but feel that carrying an exhausted Nicholas to bed was a little bit romantic, especially when they’d cuddled close for the rest of the evening. 

“Nah, take the back roads by Bletchley Farm and you’ll be in town in time.” Danny replied, ambling into the living room, where Nicholas was now frantically straightening books which even he had not read in months. His hands were flying everywhere, and Danny could almost hear the crackle of his boyfriend’s anxiety. Gently, he caught Nicholas’ wild arms in a loose grip, and pulled them to his chest. The inspector fought for a few moments more, then fell still. 

“The house looks perfect, the food preparations are done, and if I see anything out of place, I’ll put it back, okay? There’s no need to panic.” He raised Nicholas’ now limp hands to his lips, and kissed each one in turn. Nicholas risked a small smile, intertwining Danny’s fingers with his own so their wristwatches clacked against each other. “We’re going to be fine.” 

“I just hope they love you as much as I do.” 

“You convinced a whole town that twenty years of their history was wrong, I’m sure you can sway your parents. ‘Sides, they don’t sound too bad; you’ll charm them.” Danny pulled Nicholas a little closer, slipping an arm around the smaller man’s waist. “You can do anything, Nick.” 

“As long as I’ve got you by my side.” Nicholas smiled, pressing a kiss to Danny’s cheek, warm and sweet. They stayed in the hold for a few seconds longer, before Nicholas reluctantly broke away. “Though I will be late, if I wait much longer.” Leaving a final lingering kiss against his boyfriend’s forehead, Nicholas darted into the porch to retrieve his jacket and keys. 

“Oh, Nick!” Danny popped his head around the corner, catching Nicholas as he turned the handle. “You look great.” The compliment was worth it to see the pretty blush that crossed Nicholas’ cheeks. It also had the benefit of being true; the lavender of his jumper brought out the blue in his eyes, and was more colourful than his usually reserved wardrobe. 

“Flirt!” Nicholas called back as he left, his smile audible. Bones barked in agreement, then raced back into the kitchen in pursuit of a pesky housefly.

*

Danny didn’t even realise he was walking to the park until his hand clasped the sun-warmed iron gate. Usually he and Bones went walking in the woods; the Labrador-retriever loved the dappled sunlight and chasing squirrels, though he made sure never to harm any. But after a few seconds of scanning the grassy area, Danny realised who he’d been drawn towards. 

Doris was sat on the nearest bench, munching away at her sandwiches. She liked to eat outside, in the fresh air, and the birds flocked to her like a West Country Disney princess. When she glanced up, her face fluttered into her trademark smile. 

“Wotcha Danny.” She greeted him, glancing down to stroke Bones’ nose. “Didn’t expect to see you today.” 

“Yeah, well,” He shrugged. With a quick gesture, she scooted aside, the birds following suit. Danny plonked himself on the bench, and unlatched the puppy, allowing Bones to run free around the park. He was well-trained enough to return with a single whistle from either of his owners. Luckily, the pigeons, used to his presence, scarpered. “Fancied a bit of a walk.” 

“Where’s Nicky?” She asked, peeking around Danny as if the smaller man might have been hidden behind him. “I thought you’d both booked the day off.” 

“He’s gone to pick up his parents from the station. We’re having them for Sunday lunch.” 

“Today’s the big day, eh?” Doris nudged his shoulder playfully. “Meeting the parents is a big step. Proper grown up.” 

For a few moments, Danny couldn’t bring himself to reply. Doris, sensing this was serious, said nothing, handing her friend her thermos. Danny took a long sip, like one would a glass of fortifying brandy, and gave it back, clasping his hands nervously in front of him. 

“What if they don’t like me? What if they don’t like us?” Danny felt a lump rise in his throat as he watched the puppy bolt around the field chasing butterflies. “I can’t lose him, Doz. He’s… he’s the best thing that ever happened to me.” 

“Do you honestly think that Nicholas is going to change his mind about you just because his parents tell him to?” Doris folded her arms, looking unimpressed. “When has that stubborn git ever changed his mind about anything? He won’t even let us buy a different brand of teabag at the station, for Christ’s sake!” 

“He changed his mind about this place.” Danny glanced around with a sigh. “I never thought he’d stay here.” 

“Well, he stayed because of you.” Doris retorted with a bit of a snort. Leaning forward, she clasped Danny’s arm. “He loves you Danny, more than anything. I’ve never seen anything quite like you two, and he’s not going to give up on that for a couple of old farts.” 

“Doris!” He chided, making her smirk with one of his own. “Those ‘old farts’ might be my in-laws one day.” 

Doris clasped a hand over her mouth in surprise, while Danny realised the depth of what he’d just said. He’d never told anyone – not even Nicholas – how much he’d planned out the future, when it came to the next year or ten. He always assumed that he and Nicholas were going to be married, maybe have a few kids, and settle down in Sandford until they were old and grey. He was just waiting for the right time to ask. 

“Don’t you say a word, Doris Joyce Thatcher.” Danny scolded, his voice gruff with worry. He didn’t know where his fear was coming from, but it was all he could do to push it back. No longer would it take over his life like it had so many times before. Yet, in contrast, he didn’t want to frighten Nicholas. The inspector had a lot of commitments in Sandford, his work, their home, their dog, their relationship. He didn’t want to risk that all on a premature proposal. Life had moved quickly for the two of them over the past few years, so Danny wanted to slow down and enjoy his time with his lover, instead of making rash decisions. But he knew Nicholas wouldn’t see it that way; he was always searching for a new experience, and he would leap on any advancement. Danny wanted Nicholas to relax to, and to realise that they were hopefully going to have long lives. Not everything had to be done immediately. “Promise me.” 

“On my love of Jaffa Cakes, I won’t tell a soul.” She vowed, using their childhood oath, but there was still a smile on her face and in her eyes. Patting Danny’s shoulder, she collected her lunchbox and bag, folding her coat over her arm smartly. “I best be getting back. Good luck for tonight. Trust him, and yourself. That’ll see you right.” 

As he watched her walk away, ducks still tumbling over each other for the chance to be at her side, Danny felt equal parts dread and determination. Yet he definitely knew that, deep down, he was ready for this step. 

*

“Nick, we’re back!” Danny called, feeling his heart skip a beat. His feet moved by themselves as he and Bones entered the living room, where Nicholas was sat, discussing something in his quiet social voice, saved only for London types. The constable froze as he stared at them. Bones, however, bounded towards the two strangers as if compelled. 

Strangers. He should really stop calling them that. They were Nicholas’ fathers. 

Danny had to admit, the men were confident. They were lounging on the sofa liked they’d lived in Sandford all their lives. Nicholas had made tea in the teapot; a rare occurrence saved for special occasions. The men held their cups more daintily than anyone Danny had ever met; it was if the mere brew was the elixir of gods, and they daren’t spill a drop.   
When they stood to greet him, Danny could see that both men were shorter than Nicholas, who wasn’t particularly tall to start with. However, Danny didn’t feel any more at ease due to this; instead, he remained slightly threatened by the two newcomers in the living room. 

The man to Nicholas’ right was definitely the more sombre of the two, with a slim build and sharp features similar to Danny’s partner. However, he was dark haired and dark skinned, dressed in an impeccable charcoal suit with red accents. Danny assumed his stare was disapproving; he couldn’t truly see the man’s eyes, due to a pair of obscuring sunglasses. Still, he seemed to be favoured by Bones, who was snuffling at the man’s snake-skin shoes with curiosity. Danny watched as the man’s hand, delicate and precise, scratched behind the dog’s ears, so perfectly comforting that Bones’ tail began to wag. He turned to Danny with as close to a grin as a dog could muster. 

Danny, however, preferred the man to Nicholas’ left. Here the resemblance to Nicholas was more striking; the pair shared their fair features, and striking eyes. The stranger was heavier than Nicholas, with round cheeks and a generous figure. His hair was longer too, revealing a soft halo of curls, and horn-rimmed spectacles perched on his rather snub nose. When he smiled, which seemed to a permanent state of affairs, Danny could see how grandfatherly he looked, though in truth he was a little young for this role. An uncle perhaps, but a particular gay and benevolent one. Like Nicholas, he wore a jumper and brown trousers, though this was accompanied by a tartan scarf and shining loafers. 

“You must be Daniel.” The thin man leaned forward, grasping Danny’s hand almost painfully tight when they shook. The constable wanted to pull away; the man’s hands were cold and oddly smooth. Danny recognised the feeling, but he couldn’t remember from where. “We’ve heard all about you.” 

“It’s good to meet you, Mr Angel, Mr Crowley.” Danny tried to keep his voice light, and the other man followed suit, holding out a plump hand for a shake. He smiled widely, eyes sparkling. 

“Oh please dear, call me Aziraphale.” His voice dropped to a mischievous whisper, glasses sliding slightly down his nose. ”And this grumpy sod’s name is Anthony, though you didn’t get that from me.” 

“Crowley will do, thank you Angel.” The other man raised a single eyebrow. Danny couldn’t help but feel that he was being studied; his every movement and word being filed away for use later. He suddenly regretted wearing his Rovers shirt; he’d intended to change into something smarter before the visitors arrived but there had been no time. 

“Hey, babe, how long until dinner?” He asked, turning to Nicholas, who was looking neater than ever with his top button done up. Danny got the impression that his partner was trying to look as smart as possible, emulating his uniform work standards that made him look serious and severe. Still, he smiled when Danny came close, running a hand down his jumper sleeve. “I was going to pop upstairs for a shower; Bones gave me a right run-around, and I’m covered in muck.” He gestured down to his muddy bottomed jeans, which made Nicholas sigh. 

“You didn’t track any into the house, right? And you made sure Bones’ paws were clean?” It was only until Danny confirmed both of these factors that Nicholas allowed himself to relax slightly. He nodded, and gave Danny’s hand a squeeze. “We’ve still got an hour until dinner; you go freshen up.” 

“Right-o!” Danny grinned, pressing a kiss to Nicholas’ cheek, and waving to his parents. “Won’t be a minute, just getting these dirty clothes into the wash. Back in a few!” 

It was not until he trotted up the stairs, feeling slightly less apprehensive about the evening, that he heard the first words of disdain. 

“Oh dear, Angel.” Crowley’s rich baritone travelled through the house like scheming birdsong. “This will not do at all.”

**Author's Note:**

> You made it this far! Hooray! :D 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the chapter; it wasn't as easy to write as I expected. Sadly, Crowley and Az didn't appear, but they'll be making their grand entrance in chapter 2! 
> 
> Also, I gave the boys a dog. Would anyone like to know anything more about him? I have a story I could write, but whether anyone would want to read it is an entirely different matter. 
> 
> Any ideas/criticism welcome, and I hope we make it to chapter 2 (which is at least partially written) :D
> 
> Gifted to @deanisbeltingbohemianrhapsody for helping with ideas, @moosenutty for last minute motivation, and @joxem for always (and for inventing Bones!)


End file.
